An Update "from the depths of my mind"

Well, a lot has occured since the last time I wrote in my blog. My last blog included my ranting on how cruel life/high school/high school love can be. But now, my heart and spirit are both anew. I have found new connections from my heart to two other people. We'll just have to see which path my heart takes me since it is not possible/right to be involved with two girls at the same time. If that happened, then I would just be an insensitive jerk.

Just recently we had our class officer speeches and they were okay this year. Mine, again, was quite different from the rest and even though I didn't have the statistics, like Cameron did, to back my speech, I had the spirit, the will, and the know-how to be the president of my class. And I think that I can do a better job at leading our class to success even though Cameron has been there for 2 years. I believe he doesn't do an adequate enough job as our president as it is now time for a change in office.

I plan on becoming fit by the end of the summer. Nelson and I are going to work out every single day to get skinny because we're sick of being overweight. Also, Nelson's dignity rides on us getting skinny too so it's almost a must. Anyways, that is the update from the depths of my mind...see you on the flip side.

~Chris

Life is cruel, but we must move on...

It's an unrefutable fact, life is cruel. One minute, I'm happily enjoying life. The next minute my girlfriend, whom I care so much about, breaks up with me. Sometimes life just doesn't make sense at all.

I did nothing wrong, nothing unfaithful, absolutely nothing. Nothing makes sense now. Right now, I'm heartbroken and kinda hurt.

But now, I guess I just need to live and forget. There is a whole unexplored world out there for me to see and I don't intend on hanging myself up now. So I just need to try and get my life back on track and keep on going like I used to. I need to be strong and keep moving because life doesn't wait. I won't let this make me miss rare oppotunities in life. So that's basically it.

~Chris

My Dream - My Wish

Here is just a fantasy of mine, something special that I wish every girl could experiance with their special guy:


Fall -
School just ended for the day. I'm walking my sweetheart home after her very tiring day of classes. This time, we take the more scenic route. There we walk down a long winding road. The trees surrounding us, their leaves, a bright orange color. They cover the road, giving a soft cushion as we walk. My sweetheart suddenly stops and nearly falls, but I catch her before she does as I will always and forever. I can tell she is tired, so i take off my backpack and carry it home as I carry my love home. She thanks me by kissing my softly on the check, but it's thanks enough that I get to spend time with her, the one person i care the most about in the whole entire world.


Winter -
It's a snowy day, the flakes are slowly falling to the already white ground. I'm walking alone with my special someone. Walking where, nobody knows. I'm holding her hand, never to let the world take her away from me. It feels so warm just to be with her. My face is freezing, but I can't tell because her very smile, her every giggle brings me a sensation that I could never describe. I turn to her and see a snow flake fall gently on her nose. I tell her, "I love you, now and forever, I will always love you." She just smiles back to me, then turns away without a single word. I'm just walking, dumbfound, wondering why she hasn't done anything. She suddenly turns around and kisses me on the cheek and then makes a break for it. I stand there for a moment, taking in what just happened, then I can't help but to smile and chase after her. I will never really be chasing after her though, because in my heart - she will stay forever.


Spring -
The trees are lush and full of green leaves. My sweetheart and I are in a giant meadow, just mearly enjoying the presence of each other. She's running around, free as a bird, but she stops to look at a butterfly, silently moving it's wings on a flower. I try to sneak up behind her, but she knows I'm there and decides to runaway. I chase her down and we both fall, laughing, to the soft grass below us. She's laying there, smiling with her eyes closed, just enjoying the wonderful day. I'm laying there, smiling, with my eyes open, just enjoying the joy she brings to my world...


Summer -
We both leave for a trip. For her it's volleyball on a completely different continent, and for me it's the usual summer programs. The day is finally here though, the day she comes back from her trip. I go to the airport with her family to go and pick her up. It's raining outside and we're all worried that something could happen to her plane, but as I enter the airport I see her smiling face there to greet us all. I give her the biggest hug in the world and kiss her as if it were the first time. We take her home and get her settled back in. She and I escape the maddness of unpacking for a few minutes and decide to take a walk in the rain. She loves the rain, it's her favorite weather. We venture out, into the rain, with an unbrella in one of my hands, and her hand locked together with my other. She so anxious that she just runs out into the rain, and begins doing her "little jig" I just smile and I know it's useless to try and stop her. I close the umbrella and join her in the merriment. I look at her and her face is dripping from the rain, I smile knowing that she's happy, that she's truly happy right now. I lean in and kiss her, hoping to never lose her breath.
She is sick the next day, but i'm there with her, to make her feel better.



Forever I will be there for her. Through the thick and thin, through all the bad and through all the good, i will always be there for her no matter what. No power is stronger than the love I have for her.



Death is something that is inevitable. But I know that I won't be sad when i die. Even though the thought of losing the ones i cherished is nearly inbearable, I will always know that one thing will remain forever. The power and warmth of my love for my sweetheart will continue on forever. A never ending love...forever...


Dedicated to my own sweetheart - Miss Bailey M. Sarber

The Girl

A poem written for my love, Miss Bailey Sarber

I will always remember

The first day I saw her

With the smile of a goddess

And her beauty oh so flawless

Her eyes just shimmering

As does the moonlight upon water

The soft wind whispering

With a gaze, my heart she could slaughter

As she walks by

Every single day

I fumble with the word hi

Even with a simple hey

My heart is a world

And she completes me

Every time she twirls

My heart leaps with glee

I had no courage to tell her

How I truly felt

All I could do is love her

Within the confines of myself

I looked deep down inside

And felt I had to say

That this girl of mine

Was always you, till this very day

I can’t explain this feeling

This feeling oh so bright

Something inside my heart

Some feeling with great might

Your charm entrances me

Your beauty and wits do slay me

And everything about you

I do love, yes it’s true

I looked upon the stars

For a simple answer

But all I could find

Was a picture of you in my mind

And no matter how much or how little

I know of you and you know of me

For till the ends of time

In my heart, you will always be

My Friends

The saying goes:

"Anybody can say they are your friend, but how many people can be your friend..."

But as I sit here now, i'm wondering, even if you act like a friend, do you really feel that you are friends? To me, a friend is more than somebody who does nice things for you. Sure, I do nice things for people all the time, but that doesn't mean they are my friend.

A friend, to me, is somebody who truly and deeply cares for you. They will be there for you for every step of your life. They are the people who touch your heart and make you feel like you have a belonging in life.

Many times I feel alone. When i think about it, I question if anybody really does care? Or are they just my friend because of the nice things I do and say? Who knows. That, however, is only my mind talking. To find the answer to my question I had to search within the depths of my heart and soul.

What i found was miraculous. There are people out there in this cruel world who care about me. My sister, my family, my girlfriend, and all the rest of my friends too. I know that they truly care about my and I want to say that I care about them too. So this post here is a thanks to all of the people who've been there for me throughtout my life. You guys really mean a lot to me.

Is There Light in this Darkened World?

As we gaze upon our future, we can see nothing more than darkness. Nothing more than the gray mist which covers our eyes. Our future, as we see it, is dying before us. The environment is rapidly transforming itself for the worse. It has become a virtual sludge pit and we have only ourselves to blame for it. We are using up to much energy on unnecessary things. We all want to go out and buy gas-guzzling SUVs and Hummers but all you are doing is adding to the pollution of the world.

It may not seem like it's affecting your lives now, but in 13 years it has been predicted that the world will end because of global warming due to pollution. This years winter seemed warmer, yes? Well that is due to global warming which is not a good thing at all. The warmer it becomes the more endangered our world is. Before we know it, we will be perishing as quickly as flies do with bug zappers. If something doesn't change soon then the world as we know it today, will be gone forever.

NCLB (No Child Left Behind) is also standing upon our doorsteps, knocking furiously. And soon, it will take over our academic lives as we know it. Hell, it will even take over our social lives for we will have no time to ourselves. We will forever be in fear of the threat of not graduating due to some problematic program which our government instituted. This program does not help any student at all. It was instituted so that all children would be able to perform at high standards and not feel left out or "left behind."

This program however, only brings down the advanced students and creates harder situations for students who were already struggling in school. The PBGR's have become a burden for students and teachers. That, on top of the senior project and other difficult and challenging academic courses, makes life seem like a living hell. All of these tasks put together seem to be an impossible feat to accomplish in a whole life time let alone 3-4 years of our high school lives.

It seems like wherever we turn, there is no light to guide us through these darkened times. The light, however, is here and has always been here. The solution to our dilemma is...us.

We are the answer to saving this world. Will we allow our earth to go into a state so irreversible that our death would be inevitable? No. Will we allow the government to suppress our learning abilities, take over our lives, and oppress the students, teachers, and other great minds with NCLB? No. But the only way in which we can change these things is to take action.

We must band together, as one, and fight for our liberty and for our life. Fight for the environment and fight for our right to a better education. Speak out in your local communities, form groups and create posters, and actively write to your local state representatives (senators, governors, etc.) about these pressing issues. Do whatever you can to get the message across to others. We have to start saving our world by saving the environment and ridding our lives of the extremely pointless NCLB. No one voice can be heard alone, but as a single entity, then no man, no power, and no government will be able to stop us. So take action, and change the course of history for the bettering of your lives and for the lives of your children too.